SIAMESE KITTIES!!

Are you Lonely? Depressed? Do you find that when you get up from a comfy spot, when you come back to it, its still empty? Do you sometimes think "It would be so awesome to have a wet nose stuck in my face while I'm sleeping"?

If you suffer any of these symptoms, Try:

SIAMESE KITTIES!





Siamese kitties have been known to both raise and lower blood pressure! They smash their faces into your face to show you they love you! And most importantly, when you get up to get a glass of water, they'll save your spot for you and keep it warm (you do have to physically remove them when you get back). Siamese kitties have been called "the fuzziest thing ever" and "pretty nice to have around except for the farts!"

Siamese kitties are not for everyone. Side effects of Siamese kitties include interrupted sleep, the occasional paw to the face, and loads and loads of expensive veterinary bills. Some Siamese kitties have very stupid faces that can be hard not to laugh at. All Siamese kitties come with disgusting farts and lots of snoring, free of charge!

Movies I Want to Adapt as Stage Musicals

My lifelong dream has been to adapt "Mommie Dearest" as a musical. Then I found out someone already did that, and it was a huge flop. If ONLY I had gotten there first! "No More Wire Hangers" would be the eleven-o-clock number and the counterpoint between Christina and Joan would have rivaled anything from Les Mis.

Here are a few others on my list for possible stage adaptations:

The Hills Have Eyes
Slumber Party Massacre 3
Mrs Doubtfire
Armageddon
A really upbeat version of "The Passion of the Christ"
Drop Dead Gorgeous (this would make such a fucking fantastic musical and I have dibs on the Brittany Murphy character)
The original Scream
Apollo 13
Eyes Wide Shut
Doubt! (with explanation mark, of course)

I just don't know which one to start with.